birdwatcher | Дочитал!

Joseph Heller, Catch-22 (1961). Да, раньше я его не читал; теперь уже можно в этом признаться.
Программные цитаты:

`Suppose we let you pick your missions and fly milk runs,' - Major Major said. `That way you can fly the four missions and not run any risks.'
`I don't want to fly milk runs. I don't want to be in the war any more.'
`Would you like to see our country lose?' Major Major asked.
`We won't lose. We've got more men, more money and more material. There are ten million men in uniform who could replace me. Some people are getting killed and a lot more are making money and having fun. Let somebody else get killed.'
`But suppose everybody on our side felt that way.'
`Then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way. Wouldn't I?'
....

`Isn't He punishing me enough?' Yossarian snorted resentfully. 'You know, we mustn't let Him get away with it. Oh, no, we certainly mustn't get Him get away scot free for all the sorrow He's caused us. Someday I'm going to make Him pay. I know when. On the Judgement Day. Yes, That's the day I'll be close enough to grab that little yokel by His neck and -'
`Stop it! Stop it!' Lieutenant Scheisskopf's wife screamed suddenly, and began beating him ineffectually about the head with both fists. `Stop it!'
`What the hell are you getting so upset about? I though you didn't believe in God.'
`I don't,' she sobbed, bursting violently into tears. `But the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be.'
Yossarian laughed and turned her arms loose. `Let's have a little more religious freedom between us,' he proposed obligingly. You don't believe in the God you want to, and I won't believe in the God I want to. Is that a deal?'
....

`You see? Imagine a man his age risking what little life he has left for something so absurd as a country'.
Nately was instantly up in arms again. `There is nothing so absurd about risking your life for your country!' he declared.
`Isn't there?' asked the old man. `What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.'
`Anything worth living for,' said Nately, `is worth dying for.'
`And anything worth dying for,' answered the sacriligeous old man, `is certainly worth living for. You know, you're such a pure and naive young man that I almost feel sorry for you. How old are you? Twenty-five? Twenty-six?'
`Nineteen,' said Nately. `I'll be twenty in January.'
`If you live.' The old man shook his head, wearing, for a moment, the same touchy, meditating frown of the fretful and disapproving old woman. `They are going to kill you if you don't watch out, and I can see now that you are not going to watch out. Why don't you use some sense and try to be more like me? You might live to be a hundred and seven too.'
....

`Polish sausage is going for peanuts in Cracow,' Milo informed him.
`Polish sausage,' sighed the general nostalgically. `You know, I'd give just about anything for a good hunk of Polish sausage. Just about anything.'
`You don't have to give up anything. Just give me one plane for each mess hall and a pilot who will do what he's told. And a small downpayment on your initial order as a token of good faith.'
`But Cracow is hundred miles behind the enemy lines. How will you get to the sausage?'
`There's an international Polish sausage exchange in Geneva. I'll just fly the peanuts into Switzerland and exchange them for Polish sausage at the open market rate. They'll fly the peanuts back to Cracow and I'll fly the Polish sausage back to you.'

Надо отметить, что это изнурительный, монотонный труд - читать строчку за строчкой, абзац за абзацем 568 страниц очевидных вещей. Но надо также и отметить, что эти вещи стали очевидными не сами собой, а исключительно благодаря тому, что самоотверженные люди вроде Хеллера взяли на себя труд подробно их записать...